IRONIC SHOPPING EXPERIENCES – (Online Edition)


Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

If you ever wonder how ironic things get, just try online shopping with an open mind and little bit of awareness. There you will witness how ironic things can get. To explain this further, here is a list of weird findings online. Wondering how can things get really REALLY ironic? Please keep reading.

1- Let’s Start with Baby Girls and Baby Boys.
If you go on any website that sells women clothes these days (not all, of course), you will encounter a picture of a model presenting an article of clothing that has writings on it, which is fine. Everyone in this day and age is making a statement one way or another. But, the one that grabs my attention the most is the “baby girls”. The reason why it made me question my entire being is that they are found in WOMEN/ MEN (meaning adult) sections of stores, not kids nor toddlers. Imagine a woman in her 50s wearing a baby girl oversized t-shirt, walks into a supermarket and asks for a manager. Only Karens do that, maybe. How about you imagine a top executive woman who is mom of four, who also handles big corporate transactions, and then you see her t-shirt saying baby girl on a regular day. This is not to be judgmental at any level because it is obvious that the concept itself is cute. Calling your adult wifey or girlfriend your baby girl is cute, real cute. To some men, it is even hot that they are dating their babygirl. However, where is the balance in it all?
No balance, indeed because in any real life scenario if a woman acts like a baby, or irresponsible in any way, or immature, most guys automatically and biologically might think, “Hey, this girl is not ready to be in a serious relationship.”, or “This girl is too immature for her age”, or better yet some guys dare to tell a girl that they do not see a future with them because, “You are not ready to be in one. You are just not mature enough to have my babies.” You see how the real life slaps you in the face and puts a cherry on top by giving you a guy who is not even mature himself? Look at it from a woman’s point of view, that is a mature woman’s of course. She grows up in a family where she has to grow up sooner than later because, “There are responsibilities to be taken in real life”, her parents teach her. She goes to school, gets a degree, gets her masters, gets a job to finally settle down on this exhaustingly tiring life of hers, and now she has an option to wear a t-shirt that says, “Baby girl” on it? But she finally grew up, got mature. Now, being a baby is trending?
To conclude, baby girl concept is super cool. However, do we really need to associate ourselves with babies on our tees that we wear in public? How necessary is that? Ironic, isn’t it?

2- Good Vibes/ No Vibes

This gets a little personal here at this point due to a past experience with a borrowed t-shirt that I was wearing on a hot, humid day. I borrowed this t-shirt from a friend. It had a nice color overall, and said, “GOOD VIBES” in front of it. Well, I guess the irony about this type of vibe throws you under a truck to make sure that you are really vibing good. First, a drunk man commented on it saying, “Good vibes baby. Yes. Show me what else you got.” Then later on, some high guy commented on the t-shirt saying, “Give me some of them good vibes. I’m chillen. Let’s vibe in my bed.” After walking by these two, the last samurai finally showed himself to the writing on the t-shirt and said, “I’ll show you good vibes.”. All these had happened just because a t-shirt said good vibes on it, can you believe?
My advice for the people who got some good vibes is not to wear anything to make it public because at the end of the day, all your good vibes fade away by not very good comments, especially if you are a female. All you got is the vibes that you don’t want around you. Be careful out there vibing please.

Bonus point to this part would be the “I can’t breathe” t-shirts people wear on the beach or hiking. When you are hiking and see a t-shirt that says, “I can’t breathe”, your breathing pattern gets even worsened. I wonder what would those drunk and high guys tell a lady who were to wear a t-shirt that said they could not breathe, instead of “Good Vibes”. Cannot even imagine. There is a cause of wearing that t-shirt obviously but when I was wearing my Good Vibes t-shirt someone commented I should have put a smile to vibe good but I looked as sad as an old man. I wonder what would they tell the person who happened to wear, “can’t breathe.” t-shirt.

Photo by Kevin Bhagat on Unsplash

3- Men and Women Shorts

Now, shorts used to come in all size and shape, even color earlier in our humanly civilization. However, something must have changed dramatically because if you check a store- online or not, all you see is different types of shorts, especially for men. One of my guy friends commented on it earlier saying he had been looking for a “regular” men shorts but all he had encountered at the store was the mini short shorts. Of course, we all have a variety of shopping experiences by visiting very different websites and stores, no doubt. If you want a manly not mini short shorts, you pay a visit to those websites. However, some very common shopping places used to have this kind of stuff before. If it is a demand and supply kind of a decision making process for these well-known companies, I guess then more men want to wear mini shorts, which is great. However, do we not feel bad for those men who want only “regular” men shorts?
When it comes to shorts for women, it is a whole another story because they are also getting shorter and tighter while the tops are getting bigger, looser and even more oversized than ever. Again, if you are looking for something specific, thanks to internet you can get it with one click. You do not have to actually go shopping.

4- What’s Up with Coats and Jackets?

Please go on any website you desire, search for coats/ jackets for winter and witness what we have witnessed. Most of them (excluding some, of course) pass being a coat but… sadly enough, failed to be warm in any means. Mostly, if anything they are just nice jacket/ coats that are very fashionable. They have great color options to choose from, great styles, glitters and denims all over, yet lack of the ability to do their job that is to keep you warm. Then, it makes you ask, “Would I wear this jacket in summer?” Following you ask, “If I can’t wear this in summer or winter, then why bother paying for it?” Some coats really don’t make any sense in their existence. Come to think of it, who would want to wear a short sleeved winter jacket that is made out of fox skin? What about your skin on your arms? I wish I could share pictures but can’t. Please do some online window shopping, there you shall see the mystery of winter clothes. Promise is a promise.

5- Of Course, Shoes!!!

In the summer time, one might think it would be easier to shop for shoes. Women know it never is. Shoes hurt, they rip off your skin with no shame. If you are a woman working at an office environment, good luck. Same for men, because those shoes are just not there to entertain any of your socks. Socks slide like your shoes are the best kind of waterpark. I am sorry but there are ways to prevent all the pain that your shoes give you if you take a look at Google, Wiki How or Youtube.
Other than the office workers, some people prefer sneakers even in the summer time, which is safe as always ( as long as you wear well-behaved socks). Even though sneakers are safe to wear in any season, they are still the little place where you dig your feet in for a long period of time to carry your entire body weight. In the summer time, it might all get a little sweaty in there.
Besides the work shoes and sneakers, we have of course other options as well, such as sandals, flip flops, mules, loafers, and flats. Too many to choose from yet the designs say the opposite. You want to buy a simple pair of loafers? You cannot do that. They come in zebra colors, sometimes tigers. Some flip flop looking shoes on the market are already sold out. They look like flip flops but with straps around your knees. Oh, you wanted to get mules? There are all sorts of fake branded ones, but not a single pair that is just in one solid color. Good luck finding what you had in mind!

This list goes on and on along with invisible dresses , unknown and unfamiliar band t-shirts, men’s swim trunks (haha), pocket full of sunshine or full of pocket tees, ripped and dirty looking tops and bottoms, sweatpants that suffocate your ankles so you look shorter than you already are. Don’t you love seeing models wearing sweatpants with high heels on those websites? Yes! I’d like to wear me some heels while sleeping, too! The point is that we are both grateful for all the options that the internet is giving us these days and disappointed to have lost the sexy, classy yet simple looks. Good luck finding that one color article of clothing online! Be aware of the following,
– Neck design -Amount of pockets in one shirt -length of shorts -size(junior/adult/plus/over?) -Statements you are trying to make in public with that writing on your t-shirt -How many of your toes you can fit in one shoe and such. If you ever wonder how ironic things can get, just try online shopping with an open mind and little bit of awareness. It’s fun!!! 🙂

“What you wear is how you present yourself to the world, especially today, when human contacts are so quick. Fashion is instant language.” —Miuccia Prada

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/designers/a1576/50-famous-fashion-quotes/

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