The Choice is Yours

One day you are in, one day you are out of yet another person’s life. It is a devastating feeling to be apart at first, no doubt, but if you do it as fast as possible, as carelessly and less analytically as possible you are out of it without any shots going through your heart, or is that so? Majority of the therapists would not think so due to the long and hard-earned reasons of the science of psychology overall. For instance, in theory you DO need to take your time to ACCEPT the fact that you are out of someone’s life. You DO have to be very analytical over the subject to get your head around the “fact” that it had NOTHING to do with you. Some would say, see it, don’t fight it and still accept it. Now, that must not be easy to do so, accepting. Would you accept someone if they knowingly hurt, say a kid who wanted a toy but ended up getting a good half an hour cry for not getting it? I don’t think that was a great example for the fact being kids should not be allowed to get everything they want anyways.

Try this next example to see if you would be able to accept a problem that was caused by someone else upon your life. Think about a friend who borrowed your most favorite outfit. If your friend never dares to bring it back to you, or even say a thank you for letting him or her borrow your personal favorite article of clothing, would you simply look at this situation to SEE it, ANALYZE it only to ACCEPT it? Would you say, “I don’t mind if my friend does not care about my own values. I don’t blame this on my friend. I accept the situation. Great! Let me live my life peacefully now.”? NO! If you never point out to your friend what he/ she did wrong to you, how can you expect the next time to get any better? Just like that, seeing, believing, and accepting traumas do not solve the damage that has being done on you.

One person in, one is out. People let us in because they want to. It is as simple as your own name to you. Following the best times come the bad timings, ugly words, wrong choices, awkwardly quiet conversations. One day you are having the best conversation of a lifetime, one day the same person chooses his or her words carefully. So carefully in fact, you want to vomit out of boredom yet this is the same person who also has given you the best times, too.

Humble solutions can solve situations like these at times. For example, instead of accepting we have yet another choice laid right in front of our eyes, solve it. How? By talking about what bothers you, mentioning about the points that make you uncomfortable, discussing what went wrong where and when exactly. This ultimate solving mentality causes a person not only to realize the situation, but to solve it too. Imagine the next scenario. Someone used a trigger word with you. Talk about it, realize why it bothered you. Instead of creating problems, always remember your other option is to solve an existing problem and destroy it. The choice is yours, truly.

Some Cure for Anger Management

Beats headphones are cool.

I cannot believe people do not listen to angry, cruel, unkind, repulsive, objectionable songs anymore. It is not to say that I follow the pop culture metal bands, no. (I do not listen to metal, not even rock music either these days, but I always end up going back to it somehow.) It is to say that love songs do not take your anger away. Yes, love songs of today are all about hatred, who called/who did not, who broke whose heart/ who liked whose post or not/ who is following who and why/ who cheated/ who found a new boyfriend/ who forgot whom. In addition to these songs, we listen to the sweet melodies of Eros. Remember though, as much as the love Eros creates, he causes chaos and destruction as well. You being faking your current status on your face and emotions are no help.

We are human beings, aren’t we? We get angry, we get reckless. I get angry, I get reckless. Sometimes my anger is like a tornado that nothing around it calms it down, but the tornado- the anger- has the power to destroy. Realizing you are angry and still choose nothing to do about it is one thing, destroying what or who is around you is another. You might regret hurting people around you later on, since people love to put angry people down. Or, you end up hating them if not the opposite.

I intensely wonder what people do to handle their anger these days if not listening to Rock music? I mean destroying yourself and others around you with the anger you have been building on is a thing in this century, yet I wish we could all go back to those Rock’n Roll concerts, screamo, hateful looking, black, no light only dark concert arenas that only afterward we realize how much of help it actually was. Can someone please make this an event by the way? I understand there are many songs about love in this generation, yet look at the increasing numbers of people who is being treated with anger management these days. Good for their therapists, bad for health and their budget, don’t you think so? Do you see my point?

I thought buying myself a pet would help with my anger problem yet he is such a cute thing that only makes me softer than I am. I have realized that I needed to unplug myself from the phony calm looking situations / people and focus on the real side of things. What the fuck is actually happening behind the scenes, under that poker face? Where do I look at to read between the lines? In reality, you cannot see it all, hear it all, understand it all when you are  so frustrated or when you are too calm to please people around you. What you we need is simple, to be mad at things, destroy things, get angry, get sad, get real with yourself without thinking who would think what.

We need to rise above the anger. Calmness is good for the ones who have some time in their pasts come across anger. Those people are successful. Those people deserve to be calm. Those people had obstacles to overcome, too, just like you. Instead of running away from it to feel calm, those people took their anger on different outlets; some destroyed their life, some their family, career, home, health, habits, comfort zones, books, education, mental health and for the rest some even destroyed their past completely. How are they calm and successful now? Because they were ANGRY! Their outlets did not make them calmer, opposite to that belief they got ANGRIER, MADDER, more DETERMINED, which eventually put them in situations where the need to change it all has arrived, then now.. they have all the calmness in their lives. Do not think for a split second they look back to see how brilliant their lives were, but they are successful due to their lives being in their own emotional slums. They are now calm, successful and classical music listeners perhaps thanks to their displeasures and rage in their pasts. Read some biographies, watch some documentaries about famous people if you do not believe me.

Focus. No one ever needs to listen to Metallica. I remember crying while listening to Metallica once. What an irony. People who have never listened to them would not understand me at this point but hear me out. I am not trying to say you should stop listening to your hateful breakup songs, or sweet love songs, classical, or maybe edm style. I am the first person to buy my tickets to most of those electronic/ trance music concerts and festivals. What I am trying to say is that, if you are like me whose only outlet is music when things go up and down in your life, please unlike the other people do NOT destroy the people around you nor yourself, but take your anger by listening to some angry, yet powerful and soulful songs. Metallica works for me. If you have some other ones, listen to them- there is whole bunch from the 80s and 90s-, punch the walls, make evil plans to destroy it all because only then your true potential comes out. Say hi to your “Dark side of the moon”.(Pink Floyd). There will always be those dawns before the sun rises again. Rainbows do not show up when there is no rain. Let it rain first, wash yourself under it, dance to it, punch the rain drops, kick them all, fall on the ground, only to get up again and then go home or a hilltop somewhere to drink your hot jasmine tea and watch that beautiful, calm, and peaceful rainbow.

Let yourself be.

Note: All this I have just shared here is all what I think. I have read those books that teach you to keep your calm to get prosperous and full of abundance. All these years… I have just realized. Since I was only changing myself and no one else by reading those books, and no one else was trying to change their behavior because they never read books; those books have helped a lot to people around me to take advantage of my calm, and suck on that positive energy I had. I, on the other hand suffered greatly from my merciless energy vampires.