I could make a list of traps for you not fall for but if I do, you never learn. I could also tell you what to-do and what not-to-do, again you would not learn. You would think you did and stop living, breathing maybe even loving. But listen, I am only I am because I have been who, with whom and where I have been to. My only truthful advice to you would be that. You have to live it.
Rest is time, money, memories, break-ups, salty tears, as well as hope, modernity of love, challenge to keep up with different type of people that are not up for the challenge like yourself, and maybe days to reminisce about. Me-mo…i..r. Let this be my memoir determined to share my hardcore, tough learned lessons.
Lesson 1- Don’t be scared to go for it.
Every relationship is there to teach you something. If you are about to get into a relationship that you are not sure about, go for it. If you never do, you will only regret you did not or think about the possibilities of it later on. Go for it. You can only know when you go for it. However, this is also one of the worst advice as well. To you it is the worst, to me it saves you time, both from your future regrets and blame games for not trying it now and the time that you would otherwise have been thinking about going for it or not.
Lesson 2- Make yourself visible
We all get it. You are busy, he is, she is busy, too. In this modern world, we are all bunch of busy people walking around to go places. Make that place, your destination. Make your destination your relationship. Take a walk, train, an Uber there. If YOU do not do it, one day someone else will. Make yourself visible to them, not hidden & online.
Lesson 3- Keep yourself from smelly environments.
Alcohol smells like alcohol. Trashcans smell like trash. A shaved and showered body smells like an invitation. Alcohol may or may not invite the wrong crowd to you but newly showered, beautifully moisturized body sure will get you who you want. Watch your smell, smell your crowd.
Lesson 4- Bikini Top Knitted Windproof ski pants
Make up your mind. For good or bad, there has to be some options you choose from. “Opportunity knocks only once”, they say but do not be fool enough to think this is the time to think about your one and only opportunity. Stop overthinking about it. What if it were not? What if it were? Find your ground, stand tall, dance under the rain and don’t worry about showering when you get inside. Enjoy the rain. Your tongue can catch one or two raindrops full of opportunities for you. Take the lead and make up your mind.
Lesson 5- If you are contemplating your own relationship, your friends will do, too.
Stop telling them everything. Listen to yourself. Listen to your heart. Then listen to your partner’s. Who knows maybe if you could keep your mouth shut for some time, your hearts could talk. Understand not everyone likes to talk and communicate like you. Stop complaining about your relationship to your friends all the time. Do it once in awhile. If you do it all the time what is the point of being in this relationship with your significant other anyways? You can’t even talk to your partner about anything. Don’t be a coward. Talk to your partner for better results. Keep friends out of this. Keep your friends close, but your partner closer.
Lesson 6- Amplify for a hopeful relationship
Sometimes we get hopeless if one little thing goes wrong when in a relationship. I was talking to my friend the other day and he told me that he never texted his date back again because he saw dirt in her one nail. :S I know! But hey he had no hopes from the beginning so he chose to go silent on that girl. HOWEVER, if you had hope in the beginning and you are still hoping that it HAS THE POTENTIAL to get better, then stop finding excuses to shut your partner up. Listen. Put their volume a little more higher than before. Hear it, hope to find a solution for it. Amplify the happiness along with the hopeful future that he or she might be able to give you someday.
Lesson 7- Seven is HEAVEN!
You either do ALL that there is to do to carry this relationship from one level to another or don’t, there is a HIGHER power above us all who/what knows everything better than you. Therefore, if after all the other six steps your relationship still sucks, take a deep breath and well, hope for the better. That is not to say your next one will be better. In fact, I can guarantee you that after dating someone for a long LONG time, the next one who comes is never enough. Yes, marvelous in the beginning yet will never beat your ex! (Unless you ex used to beat you or harm you in anyway. Because if you have to leave a relationship because of domestic violation and such, run as fast as you can. Do NOT look back.) But.. If that was not the case… then remember, the new person comes with his/ her own baggage.
Lesson 8- Relationships ATE me alive !
Good news: You are ALIVE! Bad news: You worry too much. Whether you are in a relationship or not, your focus determines your future. Focus on yourself. As one of my really awesome friend told me yesterday, ” You will be the one to see yourself in the mirror everyday. We need to take care of ourselves first. “
- Written by a relationship expert: A Leafy