Last week, I came across a life changing message bombarded from everywhere, the heart chakra. From people telling me to listen to my heart to being given a tarot card from the most random person about the heart chakra to being told that gratitude’s wonderful return to the heart, and of course the question that is, ” What are you going to do on Valentine’s Day?”. You know forgive and love everyone type of talks were everywhere I unintentionally had been to.
To take away from it all I went to see a movie alone on Feb 8th, Friday. The plan was that it was going to be a scary movie where I would not have to hear the same conversation topic that was popular to bring up when with me, heart and chakras. As I was watching the movie, a friend showed up with some extra buttered popcorn so that I knew that I was loved. Oh, and the movie was okay yet to your surprise, it was about the love of this psychopath’s love for women’s hands. Yes, guess which movie. Love is in the air.-
They say, “Home is where your heart is.” Well… As a first glimpse of it all, I took the hardest way out to challenge myself. First step was to watch videos of course, then I moved on to talking to people who are more knowledgeable than me in this area- chakras, heart, loving, receiving, giving, spreading the love etc. I believe my heart is different than theirs, or as they told me,” there is no open doors left.” Luckily though, I could open the doors wide or cracked, if I chose to. Being the person that I am, I thought why not let all the keys of my heart loosen up a bit so some breeze of love might come right at it to knock, or simply just walk in. Just FYI, this is not a romantic love but as they point out,”the love of all. One love.”
Things took a quick left turn since I had decided to do everything to open my heart or call it the heart chakra. I lost one of the most valuable things to me in this life, our necklace that we inherit from one generation to another. Then, while trying to show love and gratitude to other people, I bought food for the people around me to make their days, they were all on a diet. I could hear myself talk not just to talk, but give motivation and inspiration to the ones around me. I tried to inspire, people kept repeating, ” I know.”
Then all of a sudden, a light bulb appeared on my head- not heart. In order to show love, I thought, what can possible be better than fresh smells of flowers, in which thought my actions followed. I made a big purchase to pamper someone I truly adore. I ordered a big bouquet of flower and shared a quote from that person’s favorite author. Epic another failure.
The company was a fraud. Flowers and the quote have never been delivered to this very day. Worse is, she really needed them while crying her heart out alone at home. I really just wanted her to be happy, feel the love around and receive yet more than that took place. Now my money is gone out the window, the customer service representatives are making me lose my mind, that person lost on being a little happier with the surprise of flowers, and as I am typing this with my heater in my place not working for the first time in a weather like this- a New York kind. Maybe if I look at my heater long enough, it would possibly work? Maybe if I open my heart chakra wide enough, the flowers would be delivered. Better yet, why am I trying so hard to make it all right? Is this something my heart wants me to do? I don’t feel so.
I do not personally understand why opening a heart chakra would make a person this miserable. Can it be that my heart is a dark and humid place where there can only be monsters and ghost stories take place? Could it be maybe that it is so used to my worst choices of not showing love and care that as soon as it’s opened, it has gained its power to its hysterical form from a pretentious high amount of sadness? Or, another theory would be that even though I work on my heart chakra, other people are not. The evil hearts are eating my little one? Because as they say, ” Big fish eats the small ones.”
I mean how much gratitude can our hearts handle if it all comes back to it in a form of rotten, broken or not delivered flowers or a lost very valuable jewelry? Are we really giving or giving up on love?