The Choice is Yours

One day you are in, one day you are out of yet another person’s life. It is a devastating feeling to be apart at first, no doubt, but if you do it as fast as possible, as carelessly and less analytically as possible you are out of it without any shots going through your heart, or is that so? Majority of the therapists would not think so due to the long and hard-earned reasons of the science of psychology overall. For instance, in theory you DO need to take your time to ACCEPT the fact that you are out of someone’s life. You DO have to be very analytical over the subject to get your head around the “fact” that it had NOTHING to do with you. Some would say, see it, don’t fight it and still accept it. Now, that must not be easy to do so, accepting. Would you accept someone if they knowingly hurt, say a kid who wanted a toy but ended up getting a good half an hour cry for not getting it? I don’t think that was a great example for the fact being kids should not be allowed to get everything they want anyways.

Try this next example to see if you would be able to accept a problem that was caused by someone else upon your life. Think about a friend who borrowed your most favorite outfit. If your friend never dares to bring it back to you, or even say a thank you for letting him or her borrow your personal favorite article of clothing, would you simply look at this situation to SEE it, ANALYZE it only to ACCEPT it? Would you say, “I don’t mind if my friend does not care about my own values. I don’t blame this on my friend. I accept the situation. Great! Let me live my life peacefully now.”? NO! If you never point out to your friend what he/ she did wrong to you, how can you expect the next time to get any better? Just like that, seeing, believing, and accepting traumas do not solve the damage that has being done on you.

One person in, one is out. People let us in because they want to. It is as simple as your own name to you. Following the best times come the bad timings, ugly words, wrong choices, awkwardly quiet conversations. One day you are having the best conversation of a lifetime, one day the same person chooses his or her words carefully. So carefully in fact, you want to vomit out of boredom yet this is the same person who also has given you the best times, too.

Humble solutions can solve situations like these at times. For example, instead of accepting we have yet another choice laid right in front of our eyes, solve it. How? By talking about what bothers you, mentioning about the points that make you uncomfortable, discussing what went wrong where and when exactly. This ultimate solving mentality causes a person not only to realize the situation, but to solve it too. Imagine the next scenario. Someone used a trigger word with you. Talk about it, realize why it bothered you. Instead of creating problems, always remember your other option is to solve an existing problem and destroy it. The choice is yours, truly.

Getting started…Zero to Planets

Takes a deep breath.. Wow.. After being under the moon light for too long it feels weird to be under the sun to get that sun kiss on my body, soul and my personal decisions. Sun is shining, lights are on, music is playing in the background. My music is my life therefore I fight. Aren’t I the queen? Aren’t I the one who is trying  to get out off the loop in which I have been growing stronger each and every day? Now, this water bottle rises for the times that I could have never imagined to have come. Cheers & Salute!

 New beginnings here I come, leave the door cracked, it will take a second. Let me get my head around it, take a sip from this water bottle and say goodbye to the memories that had carried me all the way here. I am grateful. I am a grown up woman now who realizes many things about life, though I am not even in the middle of figuring it out a bit.

If this were a number on the number line, I would have been in -1 walking toward that 0, 0 being the beginning. Although, it is the beginning of the real numbers on the number line, life has thought this grown up lady that it is also the number that we end up no matter how far we choose to go to. Every ending is a new beginning so is every decisive moment, relationship, friendship, career, education, family, matters in hand, situations in life as well as the days, months, years and decades. We get old, we go back to the beginnings. We do not get younger, yet in our memories we can always take the path to our past, to where it had all started, to the beginnings, where lies number 0, the same zero on the number line. Then, here we go remembering it all to take new baby steps. Back to the square of 1? Not implies. Back to 0? Always the maximum optimist path. Move on, move along, return, move on. move along, return. 

Put it in another way. You know in grade 4, we were taught about the rings around some planets. They rotate, spin and rotate then spin around each other, around themselves then at the same time around the planet they belong to. I had this one geography professor in college who, after teaching us all about the percentage levels of chemicals on earth, told us that the number of percentages were very similar to the numbers that our bodies were  composed of; therefore maybe a little chance existed that every human being was a planet within. Since the day he had told us that with his scientific and literal backup, I cannot get over it. We  are all little earth/ planets walking around with our little brains stuck on big life problems. Back to the rings. What can be our rings that are rotating and/ or spinning? Simply put, people around us, incidents, random occurrences, random places we find ourselves in, unplanned trips we take, unplanned meetings with soulmates, journeys, moral dilemmas, highly persistent addictions, re occurrences, knowledge we come across one day, family dilemmas, financial ups and downs, bills that we have to pay, type of work outs we choose, weather conditions, locations we choose to live etc. Every single one of these rings spins around itself, then we happen to cross their paths, eclipses take place, we become one until we spin our heads around ourselves then they keep spinning around themselves, which eventually causes us to separate ourselves from the rings to move on in our own ways. Eclipses are special to us human beings because they do not always happen. We gather around to watch them, make an event page out of every blue moon, bloody moon and eclipse. Inevitably, life goes on after all. 

Before I take a step through the cracked door to new beginnings, I wanted to point that life is not as it seems no matter which path you choose to take. I will be glad to examine some of its irregular and regular patterns here with the public. After owning a tumblr page for years, I have decided to focus on  a blog where there is less personal information, but more life experience shared. Hopefully, bright sunny days are ahead for all of us little walking planets. Hopefully, we go back to the zero all together just to see that we are about to start again BECAUSE we are at zero. 

Hope all the journeys you have taken, at some point in your life take you back to the beginning of time in which you find the need to move on, move along, return. Stay tuned! beeLeaf